From People-Pleasing to Personal Power: How RTT Helps You Stop Performing for Approval
You smile when you’re exhausted.
You say yes when your gut says no.
You bend, adjust, accommodate then collapse later, wondering why you’re always the one who gives in.
This isn’t just people-pleasing.
It’s a survival strategy.
Why people-pleasing isn’t a personality flaw
We tend to label people-pleasing as a character weakness as if being too “nice” is the problem.
But in RTT (Rapid Transformational Therapy) sessions, what we often find is this:
People-pleasing isn’t about niceness. It’s about safety.
Somewhere along the way, you learned that love had conditions.
Approval had a cost.
Conflict was dangerous.
Saying what you needed meant risking connection.
And so you adapted.
You performed for approval. You became the reliable one. The easy one. The one who didn’t make waves.
It worked… for a while.
Until it started costing you.
The hidden toll of over-giving
Here’s what people-pleasing can look like in high performers:
You delay decisions because you’re afraid of disappointing someone
You feel resentment quietly building up under the surface
You keep peace on the outside while feeling chaos inside
You second-guess your instincts in relationships or leadership
You give energy away all day and collapse into emotional burnout
The result?
You don’t trust your voice anymore.
You rely on others’ validation to feel good about your choices.
But here’s the shift:
You were not born this way. You were taught this way. And it can be unlearned.
What RTT reveals and rewires
In RTT, we trace these patterns back to the original imprint.
One client realised his need to “keep everyone happy” started in childhood when his home life was volatile. If he could make others feel good, things stayed calm. His nervous system equated harmony with safety.
Another saw how her people-pleasing came from being praised only when she achieved so she linked worth to performance, not presence.
Once we identify these core moments, we don’t just talk about them.
We recode them so your subconscious no longer runs the show.
You stop reacting out of survival.
You start choosing from clarity.
3 Questions to Disrupt People-Pleasing in Real Time
Next time you feel the urge to say yes (but mean no), try this:
What am I afraid will happen if I disappoint this person?
Where did I learn that my needs come second?
What would I do if I trusted my worth wasn’t at risk?
These aren’t just mindset tricks.
They are doorways to freedom if you listen honestly.
Final Thought:
People-pleasing is just an old script.
You don’t have to keep performing in hopes of being picked, praised, or permitted.
RTT helps you shift from performing for approval to living with unapologetic clarity.
You can still be kind.
But not at the cost of yourself.
If you feel like this blog just described you, you’re not alone and you don’t have to figure it out on your own.
You can book a free 30-minute discovery call to explore how RTT can help you reset the patterns that no longer serve you.
Schedule your free call below
PS: Next week’s post kicks off a new series on Neuroleadership and High Performance including why mental clarity, emotional regulation, and strategic focus are your most valuable business assets. Watch this space.
